Loving some and hating others
"It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated." Romans 9:12-13
Calvinists often refer to this verse declaring that it shows God's redeeming love for some, and lack of redeeming love for others. However Malachi clearly defines the meaning of God "loving" Jacob and "hating" Esau.
"The burden of the word of the LORD to Israel by Malachi. I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness. Whereas Edom saith, We are impoverished, but we will return and build the desolate places; thus saith the LORD of hosts, They shall build, but I will throw down; and they shall call them, The border of wickedness, and, The people against whom the LORD hath indignation for ever." Malachi 1:1-2
God loved the nation of Israel, and the nation of Edom He hated. This manifested itself in a fleshly blessing to Israel, and a fleshly curse upon Edom. This had nothing to do with the salvation of the individuals living in each nation. Despite Israel's wickedness, he prospered them in carnal things. However, no matter how hard Edom tried, they were impoverished. It could be said that God has loved the United States, and hated Yemen or some other impoverished nation. People in impoverished nations can turn to God and believe the gospel, and people in loved or blessed nations can reject the gospel and be damned.
Mercy and Compassion on Some and not Others
"What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid. For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."
Calvinists often refer to this verse declaring that it shows God's redeeming mercy and compassion for some, and lack of redeeming mercy and compassion for others. However the old testament scripture cited here is referring to God's mercy to Israel in giving them the word of God (the law). Consider these scriptures...
"And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy." Exodus 33:19
"And the LORD said unto Moses, Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first: and I will write upon these tables the words that were in the first tables, which thou brakest."
"And the LORD descended in the cloud, and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the LORD."
"What advantage then hath the Jew? or what profit is there of circumcision? Much every way: chiefly, because that unto them were committed the oracles of God."
"Who are Israelites; to whom pertaineth the adoption, and the glory, and the covenants, and the giving of the law, and the service of God, and the promises; Whose are the fathers, and of whom as concerning the flesh Christ came, who is over all, God blessed for ever. Amen."
In Exodus, God is referring to the grace and mercy He showed to the people of Israel in giving His word to the Jewish people. What a blessing to be the caretakers of the "oracles of God" Romans 3:2. Despite this merciful blessing from God given to Israel, the nation of Israel as a whole still rejected the gospel in the law.
"But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?"
So we see that the mercy and compassion referred to in verse 15 is not a forced salvation on the Jewish people. The mercy and compassion given to Israel was the declaration of His name, the Word of God given to a certain group of people, the Jews. Also we see in Rom 9:4 that Israel was commissioned with the services of God in the law, but to what end? Romans 3:19 tells us:
"Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God." Romans 3:19
So we see the end result of Israel keeping the services of God in the law was so the entire world would understand they are guilty before God, thus understanding their need for a Saviour.