"What shall we say then? That the Gentiles, which followed not after righteousness, have attained to righteousness, even the righteousness which is of faith. But Israel, which followed after the law of righteousness, hath not attained to the law of righteousness. Wherefore? Because they sought it not by faith, but as it were by the works of the law. For they stumbled at that stumblingstone;" Romans 9:30
"What shall we say then?" indicates that the writer is about to make a summarizing statement, recounting the main point of what he has been saying. And what does he say? The Gentiles (a large group of people) found righteousness by faith in Jesus. But Israel (another large group of people) as a whole, missed the righteousness in the law, the very word God entrusted to them. The law and prophets taught righteousness by faith...
"But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets." Romans 3:21
The main summary point here is that Romans 9 is in the context of the nation of Israel and God's righteous dealings with them. It is not in the context of indiviual souls being hated by God, missing out on his mercy and compassion because God randomly chose not to save them.
Romans 10 is often ignored by Calvinists, the emphasis being placed on verses in Romans 9 and Romans 11. We cannot ignore the clear teaching in Romans 10 concerning the gospel, and Israel's rejection of it...
"Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved." Romans 10:1
"For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God." Romans 10:3
"For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed." Romans 10:11
"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:13
The Jewish people as a whole did not obey God's command to believe the gospel...
"But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?" Romans 10:16
But they did hear it...
"But I say, Have they not heard? Yes verily, their sound went into all the earth, and their words unto the ends of the world." Romans 10:18
What is God's response to this group of people who have continually rejected Him?
"But to Israel he saith, All day long I have stretched forth my hands unto a disobedient and gainsaying people." Romans 10:21
"I say then, Hath God cast away his people? God forbid..." Romans 11:1
"God hath not cast away his people which he foreknew..." Romans 11:2