What if I've already remarried?

In the issue of divorce and remarriage the one question that is probably the most difficult is:

This is a very difficult question, and not one that we feel comfortable to give a blanket statement on what you should do. However, we would like to look at several relevant passages in the Scriptures related to this topic, and help equip you to search the truth for yourself. These are verses that investigate what people did in the Scriptures in the case where they were in a marriage that they were not supposed to be. Ultimately, we each need to go before the throne of Grace (Hebrews 4:16), and obtain grace and mercy from God. We need to have a heart to do whatever it is that He would have us to do: it is only when we are in this state that we can truly know what His will is, no matter what the subject.

Moreover, the Lord promises if you will receive his words, and put His words in your heart, and if you cry out to Him for knowledge, and seek it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God (paraphrase of Proverbs 2:1-5).

Is your marriage adulterous?

The problem with remarriage in most cases is that it is condemned by the scriptures to be adultery. And the problem with adultery is that it is abhorrent to God. Furthermore, it is written that adulterers shall not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9).

Therefore, it is prudent to honestly seek God to ask Him if the remarriage is adulterous in His eyes. However, I believe that most people know in their hearts whether this in fact is the case "their conscience also bearing witness" (Romans 2:15). I must make this explicitly clear, if you are married to a wife that has been divorced (and her husband is still alive) you are committing adultery (Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9 [only in KJV and NKJV], Luke 16:18). Moreover, husbands, if you put away your wife to marry another, you are commtting adultery (Mark 10:11, Luke 16:18). Wives, if you put away your husbands and married another, you are commtting adultery (Mark 10:12).

Furthermore, if you have divorced your wife, except it be for "pornea" (fornication), and married another, you are in an adulterous relationship.

If your marriage is not adulterous

It is very clear from Genesis 2:24, that God's desire for man was to have one wife. Also, Moses instruction to the kings was not to "multiply wives to himself":

Although, this was not God's desire for man, it happened many times in the Old Testament. However, I could be wrong (and please correct me), but I cannot find anywhere in the Old Testament or the New Testament where it is condemned as adultery. We see throughout scripture that some very godly men had many wives. However, never do we see a wife that has several husbands and it not being condemned. I believe, this is because the marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. Christ is one, but the church is many. As I wrote in the "vows" section, according to Numbers 30, the vows of a man stand before God, but the vows of a woman must be approved by first the father, then the first husband for them to stand.

Therefore, Moses says if you have taken another wife (this must be a wife that has never before been married, else it would be adultery), you must continue to nourish and cherish her. You are bound by a vow to her.

The first consideration is this: if a man has been married and been abandoned by his wife, I believe it is God's desire for him to remain unmarried.

God's heart is that the husband love his wife even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Ephesians 5:25). We see a glimpse of this related to an adulterous wife in Jeremiah 3. The LORD put away adulterous Israel, but He never looked for another wife, then He asked her to put away her adulteries and come back to Him.

However, if already did remarry, in essence he now has two wives (in God's eyes [consider Malachi 2:14-16... God still considers the wife that the man put away as the wife of his youth]). In which case, he should continue to care for both of those wives...although legally he cannot have two wives, but in God's eyes (or in reality) he does have two wives.

Also, if a man have more than one wife, he cannot be an elder/overseer/bishop according to:

Conclusion

It is not the intent of this page to tell someone what they must do, but only to provide some relevant Scriptural examples to consider. First, it is essential that we know Jesus Christ as our Lord and our Saviour. If we know Him, we have a promise that He will give wisdom to those who ask Him (James 1:5). But let us ask with a heart to do whatever it is He may ask us to do. Not our will be done, but Thy will be done.

I hope that you will only consider the things that are said here, and search the Scriptures (Acts 17:11) for yourselves to "prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:2). And may the Lord give you understanding in all things.

Related Articles

• Divorce in the Bible
• The Divorce Exception
• If the unbelieving depart, let him depart
• Remarriage: what does the Scripture say?
• What if I'm already remarried?
• Reconciliation
• The early church's view on divorce and remarriage